There is a common old saying: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” I like the saying, but in dating, I found another phrase to be much more effective, which I’ll get to shortly.
I want to tell you about John. (Names have been changed to protect the not so innocent!) John started my dating adventures. John swept me off my feet, then dropped me on my head. At the time, I had never felt before what I felt with him. John was not particularly attractive, but I felt incredibly giddy when we spent time together. It was a whirlwind romance, amazing oral sex, and just a head to toe tingle that I couldn’t stop thinking about.
In fact, the thinking became a bit obsessive. (Okay, I admit it… really, really obsessive.) I drove everyone around me crazy, asking what they thought about him. When he didn’t call, I’d send him a text just to make sure he was okay. He called less and less until he disappeared completely.
During this time, I started dating other men. Secretly, I hoped John would show up with flowers and tell me I was the woman for him. I still had thoughts about John, but only when I was feeling really insecure. I noticed the more I let myself date, the less I worried about whether or not he would call.
Then he did call. I called him back, no answer. That was the last time I heard from him.
So what does all of this mean?
|If there is someone you can’t stop thinking about, then dating more than one man at a time (Mantourage Dating) is your answer.|
If a man hasn’t asked you already for exclusivity, you will not get him to do so by having tunnel vision. Unless a man is completely infatuated with you, he will not be able to handle all of your attention and focus on him. He will call you less and less (unless you are his current booty call, and then he will only call when he wants some) and eventually disappear.
Men have a radar. If you want him to think about you more, you need to start having more fun with other men. Men ultimately want to choose the woman they can’t stop thinking about, which is always the woman they feel amazing around. I’ll let you in on a little secret: men worth keeping around are the ones that want to work for your attention. If he has to work for it, you will be on his mind a lot.
What it all boils down to is that you, Lady Love, have the feminine essence. Your unique feminine essence has infinitely more power than a man’s physical strength. A man can only resist a woman for so long if she knows what she is doing. (I’m not talking about rocking his world in bed.)
Men are not designed to be pursued. And if you are going to pursue a man, you must learn how to do it in a way that allows him to ultimately feel like he has to pursue you. (That’s totally doable.) 😉
If you are ready to understand your own feminine power and create a space for him to adore you, then take the next 3 steps immediately:
Finally, as you build your skill set with men, don’t freak out when you don’t hear from him. Just keep your options open. There are 2 things I know for sure about dating and creating a Mantourage (the multiple men you are dating):
1. You will draw him closer and create space for him to adore you.
2. He will be cleared out to a) protect you b) make room for a man upgrade or c) both.
How do you know, Jenn? Because it happened to me several times while I was dating. First, with John, who I failed to mention had a terrible physical night terror issue. By morning he had thrashed his way to the floor. (I could have been seriously hurt.)
My favorite evidence, though, was my upgrade, Will. I’ve never met a man who makes me laugh as hard, feel as beautiful, and who adores me with that sweet southern charm. So thank you, John. Everything about you was a huge blessing, including when you disappeared.
Lovergirl, I promised you a new mantra for dating. Try it out let me know how it feels:
Oh and here is a romantic challenge for you!
Do you have someone you can’t stop thinking about? Well then, write down the last time you talked to him on your calendar. Now get your hot bunz busy having an amazing time without him, including dating other men. I’ve included FREE HELP with this in the P.S.
Be sure to not call him. Then, in the comments section, let me know how long it a) takes for him to check in on you, b) takes you to meet somebody yummy, or c) both.
Also, let me know if he contacts you when he is the last thing on your mind or when you are thinking about him. Be sure to share some of your yummy dating experiences with us. Your stories inspire other women. Oh yeah, don’t forget, if you liked this, share it with the gals on Facebook & Twitter. 😉
My top pick for for all of my clients to genuinely open their options in men is, hands down, online dating. Why? Simple – because these men have raised their hand to say ‘Hey, I’d like to date too.’
AND there are soooo many to choose from! (Excellent situation for finding high quality options.)
Oh, AND if you didn’t know already, 1 in 4 relationships these days are starting with an online connection.
But I must warn you about the biggest online dating peril… If you have a boring profile, and outdated or just ehh pics, you will attract the wrong men for you. In fact, don’t be surprised if you have weirdos contacting you if you put very little effort into your dating profile. Bland profiles are bait for weirdos because weirdos look at your profile and decide whether or not your self esteem is low enough to pay attention to him.
Bland Profile = Low Self Esteem
Also, it is absolutely important to prepare your profile and pictures to LAUNCH instead of just putting some facts up quickly about yourself. Why? Because you will get your highest number of profile views when you first set up. So it behooves you to put it together offline first.
|BONUS: Click HERE to get FREE ACCESS to my step-by-step video guide E-rresistibility to create an online dating program that leads to offline romance.|