10 Rules For Your First Date Every Adored Woman Should Follow

by Jenn Burton

Dating definitely doesn’t have to be hazardous to your mental health;) Actually it can be quite an amazing and fun experience regardless if you two end up as a couple. Each date you have will help you build your man skillz as well as reveal a piece of your very own romantic adventures.

Here are my Top Ten Recommendations for a first date to go off with out a hitch. Nervousness is usually what gets to us on a first date, having these guidelines will definitely help out. No matter what happens you’ll be prepared to have a great date…

1. Safety first…

I love a chivalrous man, but it is perfectly acceptable to take your own ride to a first date.  If you met the man online, then it’s an absolute must you take your own car. Also make sure that someone knows where you are and who you are on a date with as well. (Be sure to give your friend his phone number and email address)

2. Set him up adore you

When he asks you where you would like to go, don’t say “where ever you like” Tell him where you would like him to take you out on a date. If you can’t think of any place then say “Let me think about it, and I will get back to you.” When you do let him know.

Most men have a genuine interest in not screwing it up with us, especially from the beginning. They really care if you are having a great date as well, and are just as nervous if not more than you.

 A man’s dilemma is that every woman is VERY different. So if you share with him just one small suggestion such as where to go on a date, you have started to give him a clue to how to adore you. Also this takes an enormous pressure off of him to try to pinpoint what you like, and he can focus the date details instead. Both of you are guaranteed to have a much better time.

3.Choose a date with the most fun potential

Inside Scoop… Long term attraction and adoration is determined by how much fun he has with you. But here’s the catch, it’s not just about what he thinks is a great time. He also wants to know what lights you up. A great idea for a first date is an activity date. You can toss aside the standard dinner and movies. Ease the tension and increase conversation by inviting him to something you love or have been dying to try out. 

Great first date ideas: rock walls, amusement parks, carnivals, zoo, outdoor concerts, festivals, driving range, batting cages, bowling, zip lines, paintball, cooking lessons or billiards.

4. Comfortable Can Be Super Sexy

Wear something you feel comfortable and pretty in. Make sure your outfit makes you feel fabulous but doesn’t render your night miserable because you are adjusting it the whole time. Wear clothes that fit you and flatter your curves.

Dressing hoochie mama isn’t sexy. Sexy comes from the inside, and you can’t fake it by showing all your goods. I love curves, I love cleavage, love legs, and buttocks… but we don’t need to see them all at once. Tracing your curves with your clothing and still leaving something up to the imagination is really attractive. 

Plus you can say so much more with your eyes than any other body part. A good rule of thumb, get a good bra fitting. No matter what size they are, all ta tas can look fabulous. If  you are showing off the girls keep the legs more modest and vice versa. Your goal is to look at yourself and say “Damn I look good!”

5. Focus On What You Like About Him

The truth is that not every first date you have is going to be an immediate chemistry connection. But I also know from first hand experience that chemistry can develop overtime. So don’t count him out just yet, give him the whole date with your full attention to pique your interest. 

Start by turning your cell phone on vibrate or off for a date. Pay attention to him. Focus on what attractive qualities he has… Do you like his smile, do enjoy his attentiveness, does it make you giddy watching how he can’t keep his eyes off you? Maybe he has the cutest twitch when he laughs… Maybe you find his dark sense of humor wildly amusing. 

All men have something attractive about them. It’s your job to focus on the good instead of listing every negative you find. Too many women hyper focus on what’s wrong with men, and it’s no surprise they repetitively have crappy dating experiences. 

The more good you find in men, the more good men you will find 

Your job on a first date is to have a great time. That is doable whether the chemistry is there right away or not. Chemistry is more likely to develop when you quit obsessing with everything you think is wrong with him and find what is right.

 6. The Art of the First Date Conversation

The very first date conversation you have with a man is about creating intrigue & interest. Being playful and fun is a huge plus with men, because they start to feel good around you. They love fun banter, but remember that you aren’t trying to nail it out of the ball park with the teasing. It’s all in fun and in jest.

 Keep your focus on him but be willing to disagree with him. Lots of women believe that being agreeable makes you more attractive…I can promise you this is not the case. Don’t just agree for the sake of it or accept everything he says. 

Guys enjoy women who challenge them in playful ways and bring something different to the conversation. This isn’t an invitation to become confrontational, but showing him from the beginning that you have your own mind & interests creates a lot of attraction instantly. 

Be confident, and no criticizing yourself! There is nothing that is a bigger turnoff than a woman who talks about how much she dislikes herself in any manner. If he pays you a compliment, the only correct response it “THANK-YOU!”

7. Full Disclosure not necessarily the best way to go.

You’ve got a lifetime to get to know someone. He doesn’t need to know every detail of your past or present on the first date.

Lots of women complain about men being scared of strong women. Men are wildly attracted to strong women. The problem is many ‘so called strong women’ go full disclosure first date and never give a man time to build attraction.

“But Jenn, he should just accept me the way I am.”

He will… if you give him a moment to warm up. Men are actually much more accepting in my opinion when you give the opportunity to be curious about you. So take your time to reveal your inner weavings. You are a fun mystery to be unfolded.

Please avoid the Ex conversation, and by all means no bonding about Relationship War Wounds! (Why would you want him thinking about her when he should be focusing on you anyways?) 

Politics, religion, and such… You want to know then ask, but keep this conversation short. If he wants to heat up a debate, tell him “Whoa there Handsome, that’s a 3rd date debate and not a moment sooner ;)

8. Let him pay

If he would like to pay for the date, let him. There is no obligation beyond a date just because he offered to pay and you accepted. Men who really like you typically offer to pay for the date. Men who really like you enjoy paying for a date.

9. Keep it to a 2 drink maximum

And keep it in a public place if you have no intention of having a sexual encounter. Drunk Date= Not Sexy. Regret= Even Less Sexy.

10. Let him know…

That you appreciate him taking you out on such a fun date. Definitely say ‘Thank-You.’ Also let you know you had a great time.

When he says “Yes, we should do it again”… 

Don’t say… “Okay, Give me a call sometime” 

Instead say “I couldn’t agree more, why don’t you call me Tues around 5:30 and we’ll set it up.”

Too many women leave things open ended with men and then never hear from them again. There are so many reasons why this happens… instead of worrying about the reasons just set up the opportunity for him to follow through. If he doesn’t, then you know he isn’t interested and there are no awkward moments. If he does (and actually he is more likely this way) then you are off and running for dating adventure date numero 2! 

Let me know what your best first date tips are down below in the comments, and if you like this article be sure to share it on Facebook , Twitter, and other  social media madness :)

Ready to go from romantic hot mess to a woman that men adore? Check out my Free Ignored to Adored 1:1 Appointments CLICK HERE

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

nasrine April 23, 2012 at 11:39 am

I LOVE your tips on this! Wonderful ideas and ones I could even employ with my dates with my husband because often times we need to simply need to remember that dating is in fact an art, it’s a wonderful event and even something that can spark so much happiness, so why not do it right? I really love your advice, so generous of you!
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Leona April 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Super detailed + helpful dating advice. Where were you in my late 20′s when I was doing everything I could to impress the wrong guys!

I’m joyfully married, but had to kiss a few frogs before I found my Prince. But I learned from those wrong kisses + frogs. It taught me to love myself more first, rather than to love someone else first. Instead of ensuring my other half was happier than me, I learned to ensure I always feel the happiest! And not in a selfish way – in a healthy way.

In hind site, I feel like women learn this, but later in life – rather than men who already have this mindset going into dating or relationships. I think it works out in everyone’s favor when couples are them-selves – no frogs, no hidden agendas, no games and no over impressing.
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Suzy Weiss April 23, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Jenn,

Regarding tip #2, If he asks you where you would like to go, that is not a great sign. Yes, men want to do a good job. But come on it’s a date, show some courage and creativity, gentlemen.

My favorite tip was #6: The Art of the First Date Conversation.
The name of the game is creating intrigue & interest. Men love playful and fun ladies. Leave him wanting more.

Suzy Weiss
Suzy Weiss recently posted..It Takes Courage For A Woman Over 40 To Date

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Jenn Burton May 6, 2012 at 10:05 am

Sorry Suzy… This hit my spam… I have to disagree completely.. Men love to pleasure and adore women… I think it’s a great sign that he asks you what you’d like to do. By being willing to tell him, you teach him different ways to adore you instead of him trying what he think works on most women. Not only that… I think women are too eager to dismiss great men for something as caring as asking you what you would like to do. If you don’t practice asking for what you want, then you learn to expect men to be mind readers… which come on Suzi you know all too well how women set men up to disappoint them time and time again. Because so many women focus on what’s wrong with men like you are suggesting… so many stay single and have very little fun dating.

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Christie April 24, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Jenn – I so appreciate the way you empower women. From safety first, to expressing our opinions about where to go out to eat, to specifying time/date to set up another date. Golden advice.

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Shay de Silva April 25, 2012 at 7:21 am

Love your date ideas! My husband and I always get excited for “festival season.” Maybe a cooking class will be next. :)
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Amber April 25, 2012 at 7:26 am

You are so good! I love these tips and I will be taking my hubby on a date per your recommendations… Outdoor concert + rock climbing please!
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Jennifer Peek | Creative Business Strategist April 25, 2012 at 7:52 am

Ooohhhh…these are great tips! Like some of the other commenters, I’m married but I can still use these! Not to mention that a number of these can be applied to any relationship you are investing in – it doesn’t have to be romantic. It could even be business – nearly every one of these can be changed slightly and help you hustle and close that deal ;-)

Jennifer Peek
Find Your New Groove
Left-Brained Strategy for Right-Brained Entrepreneurs
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