Dating definitely doesn’t have to be hazardous to your mental health;) Actually it can be quite an amazing and fun experience regardless if you two end up as a couple. Each date you have will help you build your man skillz as well as reveal a piece of your very own romantic adventures.
Here are my Top Ten Recommendations for a first date to go off with out a hitch. Nervousness is usually what gets to us on a first date, having these guidelines will definitely help out. No matter what happens you’ll be prepared to have a great date…
1. Safety first…
I love a chivalrous man, but it is perfectly acceptable to take your own ride to a first date. If you met the man online, then it’s an absolute must you take your own car. Also make sure that someone knows where you are and who you are on a date with as well. (Be sure to give your friend his phone number and email address)
2. Set him up adore you
When he asks you where you would like to go, don’t say “where ever you like” Tell him where you would like him to take you out on a date. If you can’t think of any place then say “Let me think about it, and I will get back to you.” When you do let him know.
Most men have a genuine interest in not screwing it up with us, especially from the beginning. They really care if you are having a great date as well, and are just as nervous if not more than you.
A man’s dilemma is that every woman is VERY different. So if you share with him just one small suggestion such as where to go on a date, you have started to give him a clue to how to adore you. Also this takes an enormous pressure off of him to try to pinpoint what you like, and he can focus the date details instead. Both of you are guaranteed to have a much better time.
3.Choose a date with the most fun potential
Inside Scoop… Long term attraction and adoration is determined by how much fun he has with you. But here’s the catch, it’s not just about what he thinks is a great time. He also wants to know what lights you up. A great idea for a first date is an activity date. You can toss aside the standard dinner and movies. Ease the tension and increase conversation by inviting him to something you love or have been dying to try out.
Great first date ideas: rock walls, amusement parks, carnivals, zoo, outdoor concerts, festivals, driving range, batting cages, bowling, zip lines, paintball, cooking lessons or billiards.
4. Comfortable Can Be Super Sexy
Wear something you feel comfortable and pretty in. Make sure your outfit makes you feel fabulous but doesn’t render your night miserable because you are adjusting it the whole time. Wear clothes that fit you and flatter your curves.
Dressing hoochie mama isn’t sexy. Sexy comes from the inside, and you can’t fake it by showing all your goods. I love curves, I love cleavage, love legs, and buttocks… but we don’t need to see them all at once. Tracing your curves with your clothing and still leaving something up to the imagination is really attractive.
Plus you can say so much more with your eyes than any other body part. A good rule of thumb, get a good bra fitting. No matter what size they are, all ta tas can look fabulous. If you are showing off the girls keep the legs more modest and vice versa. Your goal is to look at yourself and say “Damn I look good!”
5. Focus On What You Like About Him
The truth is that not every first date you have is going to be an immediate chemistry connection. But I also know from first hand experience that chemistry can develop overtime. So don’t count him out just yet, give him the whole date with your full attention to pique your interest.
Start by turning your cell phone on vibrate or off for a date. Pay attention to him. Focus on what attractive qualities he has… Do you like his smile, do enjoy his attentiveness, does it make you giddy watching how he can’t keep his eyes off you? Maybe he has the cutest twitch when he laughs… Maybe you find his dark sense of humor wildly amusing.
All men have something attractive about them. It’s your job to focus on the good instead of listing every negative you find. Too many women hyper focus on what’s wrong with men, and it’s no surprise they repetitively have crappy dating experiences.
The more good you find in men, the more good men you will find
Your job on a first date is to have a great time. That is doable whether the chemistry is there right away or not. Chemistry is more likely to develop when you quit obsessing with everything you think is wrong with him and find what is right.
6. The Art of the First Date Conversation
The very first date conversation you have with a man is about creating intrigue & interest. Being playful and fun is a huge plus with men, because they start to feel good around you. They love fun banter, but remember that you aren’t trying to nail it out of the ball park with the teasing. It’s all in fun and in jest.
Keep your focus on him but be willing to disagree with him. Lots of women believe that being agreeable makes you more attractive…I can promise you this is not the case. Don’t just agree for the sake of it or accept everything he says.
Guys enjoy women who challenge them in playful ways and bring something different to the conversation. This isn’t an invitation to become confrontational, but showing him from the beginning that you have your own mind & interests creates a lot of attraction instantly.
Be confident, and no criticizing yourself! There is nothing that is a bigger turnoff than a woman who talks about how much she dislikes herself in any manner. If he pays you a compliment, the only correct response it “THANK-YOU!”
7. Full Disclosure not necessarily the best way to go.
You’ve got a lifetime to get to know someone. He doesn’t need to know every detail of your past or present on the first date.
Lots of women complain about men being scared of strong women. Men are wildly attracted to strong women. The problem is many ‘so called strong women’ go full disclosure first date and never give a man time to build attraction.
“But Jenn, he should just accept me the way I am.”
He will… if you give him a moment to warm up. Men are actually much more accepting in my opinion when you give the opportunity to be curious about you. So take your time to reveal your inner weavings. You are a fun mystery to be unfolded.
Please avoid the Ex conversation, and by all means no bonding about Relationship War Wounds! (Why would you want him thinking about her when he should be focusing on you anyways?)
Politics, religion, and such… You want to know then ask, but keep this conversation short. If he wants to heat up a debate, tell him “Whoa there Handsome, that’s a 3rd date debate and not a moment sooner ”
8. Let him pay
If he would like to pay for the date, let him. There is no obligation beyond a date just because he offered to pay and you accepted. Men who really like you typically offer to pay for the date. Men who really like you enjoy paying for a date.
9. Keep it to a 2 drink maximum
And keep it in a public place if you have no intention of having a sexual encounter. Drunk Date= Not Sexy. Regret= Even Less Sexy.
10. Let him know…
That you appreciate him taking you out on such a fun date. Definitely say ‘Thank-You.’ Also let you know you had a great time.
When he says “Yes, we should do it again”…
Don’t say… “Okay, Give me a call sometime”
Instead say “I couldn’t agree more, why don’t you call me Tues around 5:30 and we’ll set it up.”
Too many women leave things open ended with men and then never hear from them again. There are so many reasons why this happens… instead of worrying about the reasons just set up the opportunity for him to follow through. If he doesn’t, then you know he isn’t interested and there are no awkward moments. If he does (and actually he is more likely this way) then you are off and running for dating adventure date numero 2!
Let me know what your best first date tips are down below in the comments, and if you like this article be sure to share it on Facebook , Twitter, and other social media madness
Ready to go from romantic hot mess to a woman that men adore? Check out my Free Ignored to Adored 1:1 Appointments CLICK HERE