Dating? In a relationship? Confused? Dating Versus Relationship – Things Women Need To Know.
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#FairyDustTV Video Transcript:
Dating versus Relationships: Things that women need to know.
It is not a huge surprise that women come to me under the assumption that they’re in a relationship with somebody they’re actually not.
These women are very successful, enlightened professionals. They are at the top of their game, yet many don’t get that they’re not actually in a romantic relationship with the specific man they are inquiring about.
On today’s show we will address three things going on in these scenarios. That way from here on out, you are never clueless again, and you have a really clear understanding of what is going on with that specific guy.
No. 1 Exclusively sleeping together does not mean you are in an exclusive relationship
He may have told you that he is not sleeping with anyone else and he may have asked you if you are sleeping with anyone else. He might have even said that he is not seeing anybody else.
You are a smart, savvy, single woman…
…and I need you to understand, this does not mean that you are in an exclusive relationship. It doesn’t mean that you’ll end up in an exclusive relationship either.
In this scenario, women often stop seeing other men, cutting off all of her options in other guys she can date. On the other hand, the guy that she is supposedly exclusively sleeping with, although might not be actively pursuing other women, doesn’t close down the option. If an opportunity presents itself, he knows he is not in an exclusive relationship.
Whether that is his intention or not, is not important. What is important, is that you, as an adored woman, (which we teach you to be here at HaveHimYourWay.com) understand that exclusively sleeping with somebody does not mean that you are in an exclusive relationship. If he tells you that he’s not seeing other women, it doesn’t mean you’re in an exclusive relationship either.
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When a man asks something like “Are you seeing anyone else?” or he says “Well, I’m not seeing anyone else”, be willing to take your relationship clarity a step further. (It is very helpful even necessary in today’s very wishy-washy dating landscape.)
You can ask him: “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” and then you know, right there, with his answer, whether or not his intention with you is that of an exclusive romantic relationship.
No. 2 Any man who wants to keep your relationship a secret is not your boyfriend.
He is not in an exclusive romantic relationship with you.
Now before you get your panties in a bunch…
BUT If a man goes an extended period of time giving you all kinds of reasons on why he can’t tell people about you, or introduce you as his girlfriend, then there is something seriously wrong going on, and it is not an exclusive romantic relationship.
It’s something that you need to turn away from right away. Or at bare minimum, you need to open your options to other men, again, because you are not in an exclusive relationship.
If you’re wondering how long you should give a guy to tell people about you, before you know that there is something weird going on…
I say a couple of weeks, but the absolute, absolute max would be a month. Anything after that, there’s something wrong. An alarm should be going off in your head saying there’s something not right with this and you don’t need this specific man to have an amazing love life. Most of all, Lovergirl, you need to open up your options. STAT.
No. 3 Men who don’t like labels.
Let’s say you ask a guy: “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” and he responds with something like “I don’t really like labels” and then he goes back to “I’m only seeing you.”
Any guy telling you that they don’t like labels, is telling you that he wants to keep his options open for other women to come into his life. Whether he is seeing anybody else or not.
This is not an exclusive romantic relationship.
Because I know what you want. And I know what he is ultimately saying
And how do I know what you want?
Because you are here right now trying to determine whether this is dating versus relationship.
Since that’s the case, what you’re telling me you want is ultimately to be in an exclusive romantic relationship. And this guy is telling you that he’s not there yet.
One of the things that I teach at HaveHimYourWay.com is called Mantourage Dating™. Mantourage Dating™ essentially, is dating more than one man at a timeuntil you find your forever man. (– 2,3,4,5,6, possibly talking to 10 different guys, depending on if you are online dating or just being very social) It’s really up to you, and it doesn’t mean that you have to sleep with all of these men, by the way. You can sleep with just one, or none.
It’s completely up to you.
Now truthfully, most women come to me because either they’re trying to figure out one specific guy that they want to be in a relationship with or they’re looking for a new man to be in a relationship with. As I mentioned before, most women’s ultimate goal is to be in a loving, committed relationship.
I want you to start rewiring yourself to think of being in a relationship as part of a journey in lieu of the ultimate goal. I also want you to focus on having the most amazing time while you’re dating.
Instead of thinking of dating as a way to a relationship, I want you to think of it as one big, long, amazing, magical journey that you get to have. Consequently, you take the pressure off yourself about dating.
We think that we have to get it right the first time and that dating is this necessary evil. But the truth is, dating can be really fun, like it was for me. AND like it is for the women that I work with, who are committed to making their dating experiences magical.
You might be thinking: “Why does that even matter, Jenn?”
Because, when you make your dating experiences magical, you set yourself up for incredible long term love. You learn things about yourself and about men while dating that you would have never experienced otherwise.
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Okay, Lovergirl, let’s quickly wrap up and review today’s topic:
Dating versus Relationship, Things That Women Need To Know.
- Exclusively sleeping with someone — even if he is saying he is not sleeping with anyone else, does not mean you’re in an exclusive relationship. Remember, you are more than welcome to ask him, when he says he’s not seeing anyone else. “Does that mean that you’re asking me to be your girlfriend?”
- If a man ever wants to keep your relationship a secret, run for the hills, please. Run as far and fast as you can. If you are going to keep him around, make sure he is part of your Mantourage Dating™ experience and not your only option in men.
- Men who don’t like labels. If he said he doesn’t like labels, he doesn’t want an exclusive, committed relationship with you. Hence, he’s keeping his options open and that means you should too.
Lovergirl, I will see you next time and here’s to you having him your way.
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