Apprehensive about online dating? Would you prefer to meet your man the old fashion way? In person. I can help you with that.
#FairyDustTV Video Transcript:
How To Meet Men WITHOUT Online Dating Part 1
Full disclosure: with the women I work with from all over the world, we always use online dating to help them meet men. It is my favorite way to meet men because of all of the options in men it gives you when you do it right.
It can blow your mind.
But, I understand, there are lots of women out there who are very smart, professional, successful women –single women who are very reluctant to use online dating or have had horrible experiences in the past.
If you would like to use online dating and have your mind blown in the best way possible go to my program E-rresistibility.com and get the first two video chapters for free. I’ll show you how to do online dating the right way.
Let’s get started with my ladies who really want to know how to meet men without online dating.
Before you head out to meet the man of your dreams do note that there are 3 specific things that need to happen first which is what we’ll be covering in today’s episode.
Because these things are the precursor to actually meeting a man that you are truly interested in and who feels the same about you. Something that can have potential to last.
The problem is, we women –smart, successful women, since we’ve been playing in a man’s world for a very very long time, we’ve become very jaded towards men and we’ve lost our softer/more feminine side in many ways. (Not that there’s anything wrong with what we’re doing in the working world.)
But it’s not always translating properly into our love life. And as a result we go around with blinders on deflecting attention from men and not just sleazy men.
We deflect attention from wonderful guys as well.
All because we don’t know really know what to do with the attention.
Which means you are missing opportunities all around you to meet your man.
Again, full disclosure… I met my husband while I was online dating. I was having so much fun and yet I met him in a bar. (And I used to think that by a certain age meeting a man at bar would never workout. But that’s not the case) WHY?Okay? No matter what age you are, no matter where you are at you can meet the man of your dreams.
it’s not about the venue. These 3 things will determine when, where, why, and how to meet men without online dating.
Lots of smart, professional, single women spend an incredible amount of time focused on their careers. So focused that other pieces of our lives get shut down. One of those things is that we lose connection with the things that have brought excitement to us in our lives outside of our working world.
That’s the first thing that you need to do: bring excitement into your life. Now I know dating can be exciting especially when you feel that connection with that man who sends shivers down your spine and brings butterflies to your stomach. He makes you weak in the knees when he puts his lips to yours or the way he touches the small of your back.
I get it. I know that kind of excitement. It’s a lot of fun.
But, I’m actually talking about a different kind of excitement. I don’t want you to solely focus on that type of excitement ‘cause if you can bring excitement to your life in other ways first, that excitement is going to be inevitable. Absolutely inevitable.
Let me say that again: if you focus on bringing your own excitement into your life, dating excitement will be inevitable. So, this means that I want you to reconnect with the things that light you up in your life or have lit you up in the past.
Like, what did you do as a young girl that brought you joy? Get back to those things. Go back to your roots to start with or if maybe you were kind of a boring kid, then start something new.
Think about something that you’ve thought about doing and crossed your mind like: wow, that could be a little fun and start doing those things. One of mine, on my bucket list right now which I will do this year is indoor skydiving.
So, start putting together your bucket/activity list. I want you bring your own excitement to your life first. You need to have excitement into your life if you really wanna draw somebody in, that lights you up in that way as well.
Because that excitement that you bring on your own, it’s magnetic. It makes you irresistible in many many ways.
That’s a lot easier to do when you’re doing things in your life that light you up. But, I also want you to change your perception.
There are a lot of jaded people in this world. I mean extraordinarily jaded people and I have to admit, I used to be one of those people all the time and I still have those tendencies at times. And no I’m not asking you to be happy, and fake happy all the time; but what I’m asking you to do is take a look around in your life.
Change and tweak the things that are are bringing you down and take on a different outlook about being alive. Get to a place where you can be genuinely enthusiastic about being alive.
Now, I know what you might be thinking: but Jenn, all I want is to meet somebody that lights me up. What I’m asking you to do is put the cart before the horse in this case, just like bringing an excitement into your life.
Being enthusiastic about life makes you incredibly more approachable to the right men. It draws them in, it makes you magnetic.
Men really enjoy being around women who are happy, who are enthusiastic about their life; who have something to talk about because they are enthusiastic. Men are really drawn to women who aren’t completely jaded.
So if you are jaded, I understand. I’ve been there, girl.
I totally get it.
What I want you to do is start changing that for yourself. Start asking yourself: is it really worth being this pessimistic and jaded about life? Is it really getting me what I want? Start with that question and then you can go from there, elaborate on it, take it to a level where it’s like: hey, you know, maybe this whole life thing —maybe it can be as good as I want it to be.
Alright, so that takes me to number three. Now, this is a big one.
3. What I’m asking you to do, is to open your freakin’ eyes like I opened my freakin’ eyes and notice men noticing you.
This is huge if you wanna meet men offline instead of doing online dating. This is something, again, that I used to do big time. So, because of my self esteem issues growing up and then to my early 20s, I had a really hard time seeing men being attracted to me.
I never thought that they were attracted to me so what happened is I basically had –I guess a metaphor would be: I had dark glasses on. I couldn’t see men wanting to approach me and I never gave them the ability to. I cut them off very quickly because I doubted myself, I couldn’t believe, and I couldn’t take on the fact that they could actually be attracted to me.
The first thing that happens to women when I ask them to do this is everything about them starts to shut down because there’s a whole bunch of fear that comes up around really allowing men to see them.
And I get that fear. I totally get it.
You know it’s emotionally a vulnerable place to be and most of us consider it a dangerous place to be emotionally. But it’s not. What we’re not recognizing is that there are a lot of great men out there who would love the opportunity to approach us but they get rejected so much that they get nervous too.
So, they are looking for those cues, that you’re approachable. One of those cues is being able to have eye contact. Being able to acknowledge somebody with your eyes and your smile, let them know that you are approachable.
Now, we’re gonna go to the extreme part of that, because what happens next when women start thinking about acknowledging somebody with their eyes and making them more approachable is they’re like: “great, I’m gonna be approached by guys I don’t want to be approached by”.
It’s gonna be just too much and I get that. I understand that feeling of overwhelm that comes up. But what’s the worst case scenario if somebody approaches you that you’re not interested in talking to further.
What’s the worst case scenario?
The worst case scenario is you have to respond and say “thank you, I’m flattered, but no thank you”. That, in the majority of cases is the worst case scenario. You don’t even have to say “I have a boyfriend” or anything else like that.
Most guys have no problem with this response. That was a very very kind response, and most men are genuinely grateful that you weren’t a complete bitch to them and just shut them down or lie to them about it.
It’s really, truly a win-win situation.
That’s especially if you’re a professional woman travelling a lot. You can do this everywhere. You can do this and use it as practice. If a man approaches you, and you can give them the “you know I really appreciate that and I’m flattered but no thank you”.
Let yourself start smiling, looking men in the eyes. Start noticing men, be appreciative of men and then all the single men will start coming out of the woodwork and start asking you out.
To break that down and make it simple, it’s really as good as letting him catch you looking at him and then smile. Try it. See what happens.
It doesn’t hurt as much as we think it’s going to hurt and let’s say –we’re talking worst case scenario again– maybe this guy is not interested in you.
Trust me, you are going to have made his day regardless because it’s always great to have a woman smile at you. A genuine smile of course.
Wrapping up today, I love online dating.
Because it gives you the opportunity to practice online before having to go face to face so yes, you can definitely meet men offline. You don’t have to meet men online but you could also do what I did –a hybrid combination of online dating and offline dating. That worked beautifully for me.
Nine years later… with my love of my life.
Okay Lovergirl, final thoughts for today’s episode.
I want you to get caught, letting him see you look at him –and smiling. You’ll make his day.
Ready to build your new exciting online dating profile? Good, because I want you to stand out from the thousands of single women in your area to the right men. I have two free chapters of my online dating program E-rresistibility for you to check out here, http://E-rresistibility.com and start creating your very own magical dating experiences like I did.