Do you believe in ‘The One’?
What if yours isn’t scheduled to arrive for another 10 years?
Does it mean that you should wait another 10 years to feel how your body lights up and tingles as an insanely attractive man draws you to him, pressing his lips to you?
Does that mean for another 10 years, you should go day after day without any romantic affection?
Many lovely women bind themselves to the idea of ‘The One’.
So let me set the record straight: there are many different men who can be your ‘One’. Which ultimately means, as soon as you let go of the idea that there is only one man who was designed for you, then you create space for a whole world of possibilities. And yes, each of these possibilities has ‘soul mate potential’ written all over him.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi
After years of searching for love, praying for my One, and banging my head against a wall, I finally decided to let go of everything I thought I knew. I stopped trying to figure out what men wanted and instead got super clear on what I wanted romantically. Then, for the first time in my life, I set out to create my very own dating adventures.
You see, if your soul mate has not shown up yet, it is only because you are not truly ready for him in your life. It means you need to stop seeking love as Rumi advices, and start removing the barriers or blocks that are shutting your soul mate out and delaying his arrival.
So Jenn, how do I get rid of these barriers and expedite his arrival?
Simple Lovergirl, learn how to date.
Why? Several reasons…
- When you learn how to date, you acquire the tools to inspire him to adore you over a lifetime.
- You make better choices with men because you fully understand that you never have to settle in order to be loved and adored.
- You learn what truly turns you on as a woman, and define/redefine all of your romantic dreams.
- You finally will understand what I know is true about you: you can create love in your life anytime you want. You are no longer subject to circumstances, but are very well versed in creating a legendary love experience.
- You will know the clues to help you effectively weed out those men who should not be in your life.
- You will learn the appropriate boundaries that create the experiences you want in life.
- Dating done right is better than any anti-aging cream you can buy.
Attracting and dating men requires a specific skill set, certain due diligence, and lots of fun and pleasure. Only a small percentage of women can just wait and watch their “soul mate” show up. An even smaller percentage of women have the skills plus the creativity to maintain that initial intense attraction and love over a lifetime.
You can and will meet a man who inspires, challenges, romances, and cares for you, who turns you on more than you have ever been before, if you are willing to learn what it takes.
So what does it take?
I’m so glad you asked…
1. Play- In long term partners, men are looking for someone they feel amazing around.
I’ve done extensive, non-double-blind , placebo-free research, and have discovered that after asking over 100 men, more than 90% said they would rather be with a woman with a great sense of humor than someone who is good in bed, when forced to choose.
Playful trumps sexy for high quality men again…and again…and again. Play is the secret sauce that will have him coming back for more.
With myself and my clients, I always find that the more consistently you pursue and engage in activities that you are passionate about, the more fascinating and sexy you are to men.
Men love passionate women. Your dream man will adore how passionate you are. It is a key piece of being irresistible.
This is actually the tricky one. When you learn how to date and give yourself permission to explore your romantic potential, you open up a big can of emotional worms.
The truth is that giving yourself permission and practice/taking action require a lot of courage. As you open yourself up to the possibilities of different types of men, the universe is going to reward you with lots of positive male attention. It’s as if the universe is asking you to try on each to see which one whispers to your soul…. ‘soul mate’
BUT… all of your blocks and barriers are going to start screaming in your ear. “I’m not worthy.” “I am too fat, too skinny, not smart enough, not pretty enough, I have nothing to offer…” Et cetera, and so on.
The bottomline is, you, just as you are now, are perfect enough to draw in your dream man or men; but you must give yourself permission to ignore those annoying, demeaning voices and instead be adored by men. It is no easy feat to get started, but just like any muscle, with consistent practice you’ll wonder why you haven’t been doing this since your first crush.
Please Note: Permission & Practice go hand in hand… so please don’t make the universe’s job any harder by sitting on the romantic sidelines inside your home or only socializing in women-centric scenarios. Just like the lotto, you can’t win if you don’t play. So do your soul mate a favor and stop depriving him of your romantic presence… go where the men are too.
You’ve learned to play, you are discovering and following your passions, you’ve given yourself permission to be a romantic researcher and have stopped sitting on the romantic sidelines…
…but you still need good boundaries with men. Having standards and boundaries means you’re not open for business for just any man. Your soul mate should bring his A-game. With all the attention you will receive as you open up to the possibilities, boundaries are there so your soul mate can rise to the occasion and make his presence well known while leaving very little confusion on your part.
Hint: Don’t waste your time correcting men and over-explaining your boundaries. Doing this focuses a lot of attention unproductively. Attention equals approval, so instead, pay attention to those hotties who are treating you the way you like to be treated, which is a clear energetic indication to the Universe and men of what you are looking for in a soul mate.
5. Understand that romance is not static
The final key to expediting his arrival is understanding that romance is a lifelong journey and that it is never static. So the more you learn to embrace and play with ideas #1-4, the better you will understand how to create and recreate your romantic adventures over a lifetime with your soul mate. This is the key piece in understanding in order to bring down your barriers/blocks and drawing in Mr. Makes-Me-Giddy-and-Adores-Me Dream Man.
Essentially dating is your soul’s prep time for attracting a mate and learning to create lifelong romance. It’s not a necessary evil as so many women like to think of it. It is however an amazing opportunity. An opportunity to work out your kinks, define what you want, and learn the secrets of igniting romance anytime you’d like. Too many women believe that just meeting your soul mate is the answer. Truthfully, it’s just the beginning.
The quicker you accept this, the easier it is to expedite his arrival. The more play and pleasure you allow yourself in this process makes you an undeniable romantic force to be reckoned with. Permission/Practice/Boundaries sets you apart from countless other women in his mind. Your soul mate doesn’t stand a chance, and he’ll love & adore you through lifetime for it.