How To Stay Out Of The Friend Zone With Him
Lovergirl Lovergirl,
Are you ready to learn how to say out of the – duh duh duh – Friend Zone?
For many women staying out of the friend zone is a romantic skill set that comes naturally to them. In fact, I’ll confess to you that even before I started my own magical dating adventures, when I sucked at just about everything else romantically, I was actually really good at staying out of the friend zone. (I never had to even think about it!)
But as I’ve worked with women over the years, I realized that many women who come to me are extraordinarily gifted as a certain romantic archetype, called The Confidante.
As you might infer from the name, the Confidante is a great listener. She is a safe place to share, to exchange, to discuss. And when she is doing with men and owns her particular type of allure, she is incredibly hard to resist and makes a mesmerizing long term partner.
The unfortunate problem is so many confidante women are clueless about their romantic power, and the seductive nature of this archetype.
This usually means they have poor boundaries with men and are over givers, which cuts off a man’s ability to love, adore, and cherish her on her terms.
Plus, many Confidantes – because of low romantic self-esteem – tend to fall for men already in a committed relationship. More often than not, this leaves them heartbroken and pining after an unrequited love for years and years, neglecting the magical dating adventures that they are very capable of creating.
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The Friend Zone is only a way to play small romantically, and if you are a brilliant Confidante, it doesn’t mean that you have to commit to the zone. BUT it will take some ovaries on your part if you’ve been a chronic Zoner in the past.
SIDE NOTE: all of the suggestions I am about to give you are about staying out of the friend zone with single men. I am not talking about committed men, because if you don’t know by now, then you should. THIS ROMANTIC FAIRY GODMAMMA don’t PLAY DAT. Now let’s get started.
1. Be willing to call it a date-
OOOH scary, I know… But if a man asks you to hang out with him, take a deep breath and ask him.
HIM: Would you like to go see the new ______________ movie?
YOU: Well that depends, is ‘movie’ code for a date to the movies?
Now it is possible he will say yes, and it is possible he will say no.
If he says no… for the love of all things that are adored, don’t let it crush your soul.
Instead say: Well that’s too bad, let me know when it changes to a date to the movies. (and then smile and wink at him.)
Then go on about your hotself, doing your hotself stuff. Trust me, he won’t be able to stop thinking about you.
2. Don’t be his confidante about women and relationships-
Let’s be honest, no matter how nosey you are, if you are in the friend zone, often it’s not because you really enjoy listening to him going on and on about other women. And no, it’s not because you are really sizing up your competition.
So do yourself a favor. If he brings it up, change the subject. Keep changing the subject. If he still doesn’t get it…then very matter of a fact manner, tell him.
“Hey Mr. ___________, I appreciate that you trust me enough to share about other women, but in all honesty, since it’s my secret plan to sabotage your efforts with all women who are not me, I’m probably not the person the disclose this information to.” (and then smile and wink at him)
3. Keep your options open… WIDE OPEN
The absolute best way to stay out of the Friend Zone shackles is to not hyper focus on this one guy. No matter how easy it is to fixate on the fantasy in your head, I promise you real life can be so much more magical when you give other men an opportunity.
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Plus, if you are a woman who understands and explores her options, your energy shifts from ‘please please pay attention to me’, to ‘there is something about her that I can’t stop thinking about’.
Bonus, even if you realize he is not your guy… you haven’t wasted months or even years feeling paralyzed romantically.
By the way, if you are wondering about the quickest way to open up your options, then listen up. Any time I start working with a woman privately, the first thing I do is write her online profile for her. Why? Because online dating is the fastest way to find single men that you will be insanely attracted to.
WORD OF CAUTION: Do not, and I repeat do not (!) put up a random, generic profile and pics of yourself on an online dating site. If you do there is a HIGH probability of no engagement, or even worse, having the weirdos and the perverts come out of the woodwork. If you are stumped about how to put together a mesmerizing profile then click HERE to learn how to do it yourself
XO,
Jenn
P.S.
Stay tuned for the next Fairy Dust Friday when I share How to GET OUT of the Friend Zone.
