#FairyDustTV Episode 19, Women Finding Love Again
Were you heartbroken and devastated? Still can’t find it in you to move on? Finding love again doesn’t have to be difficult or excruciating.
#FairyDustTV Video Transcript
Women Finding Love Again
If you’re a lady, there are probably two reasons why you are reading this right now.
A). You’re in the midst of a devastating divorce or breakup.
If that’s the case, this is for you:
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OR B) You are someone who is already been through this but you might still be struggling with moving on in your romantic life.
For today’s episode if you fall into category B, I’m gonna talk about things that apply to your situation and the things that i want you to take to heart as you go through the process of moving on.
I’m not a stranger to devastating breakups.
I speak from firsthand knowledge on everything that I’m gonna talk about to you today.
I have helped lots of women all around the world move through these types of breakups and learn to move on. The first thing I wanna tell you is that despite what people might say, you don’t need years and years to grieve.
No. 1, You do not need an insane amount of time to start to move on in your love life.
Yes, you do need to grieve.
I am not discounting the grieving process.
The grieving process is very very important.
But with many women, they shut down for romantic business because the pain that they went through is not something that they want to experience ever again. They think by never having to explore opportunities in love, they will somehow avoid that.
Women either shut down completely and won’t date at all. OR they’ll put their toe in the dating waters without knowing what they’re doing. They will have a couple of bad experiences and then shut down for romantic business for good.
I know how painful a devastating breakup can be but that’s the first thing you need to realize: You don’t actually need years to grieve.
And it is true that men typically move on much faster than women.
I’m not saying in all cases. I have personally known men who have taken years to move on but for the most part, men typically move on a lot faster than women. Women on the other hand, will use this as an excuse to start playing small romantically. She never dates again keep herself from the love that she really truly wants.
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No. 2 Understand that this man doesn’t determine your romantic worth
This man does not on any level determine your self worth or your romantic worth because he no longer wants to be with you romantically. We women of course don’t like not being loved but we really get tripped up when the man that we love no longer WANTS us.
There’s a little girl inside of us that freaks the f@ck out when the man that we love no longer WANTS us. And we can stay in that pain for years because we’re afraid that we won’t be able to experience those feelings that we have with that one man with someone else.
But I will repeat, he doesn’t on any level determine your romantic worth nor your self worth. This of course is something that you have to accept for yourself. On the other hand, if you allow him to determine your worth, it’s gonna be difficult to move on after a devastating breakup or divorce.
What happened between you two doesn’t mean that you’re unwantable nor unloveable.
No. 3 Feel free to refer to yourself as single
You don’t have to walk around carrying the big RED letter D on your chest for divorce. You never to refer to yourself as divorced unless it’s absolutely necessary for some kind of legal form.
You can say: “No I’m currently single” and if they ask you: “Have you been married before?”, you can say yes.
I’ve seen and heard many many women walking around with their big RED letter D across their chest as if going through a divorce somehow says something about her unworthiness and failure as a woman.
There’s nothing unworthy about you because you’ve been through this experience. Period.
No. 4 Breakups / divorce are a lame excuse to stay single
Now, I’m gonna be a little bit hard on you because you need to have what you want romantically. But to have it you MUST stop using your breakup or your divorce as an excuse for not putting yourself out there.
Again, I acknowledge divorce and breakups ARE PAINFUL.
I’ve been there.
The truth is that life at times is painful.
It’s magical and it’s painful.
We can’t know the magic of it and how great it can feel when we haven’t experienced pain before.
It is extraordinarily important for you to understand that having been through a divorce/breakup is a really really poor excuse to not put yourself out there again. I do acknowledge that it was painful but you are strong enough.
This situation has made you strong enough and made you a better judge in many ways. Not to mention it has made you a better person to be in a better relationship which is key to drawing in the kind of relationship that you really truly want.
No. 5 All breakups / divorces are an opportunity
Understand that all breakups and divorces, regardless of how they went down, no matter what has happened in your situation, are an opportunity for you to improve your love life.
Now in some cases, a divorce or a break can actually bring people back together.
Sometimes, a relationship gets to a point that is really crappy or so bad that it has to be torn all the way down to the ground. This is really the only way in this case to build it back up again into something new, magical, better and something even more fulfilling in your life.
In other cases, we have to get rid of bad relationships to make space for another much more incredible relationship.
It is extraordinarily important as you’re moving on through these devastating events that you acknowledge there’s an opportunity here even when it feels like your world is coming down around you.
Remember, I do know what it feels like. It’s an insane feeling.
I want you to acknowledge the pain but know that there’s still a brilliant opportunity for your love life if you allow it to happen.
You have two options, Lovergirl.
You can shut down your love life and not let this be an opportunity, or you can allow it to open up something very special in your life and become stronger version of you.
You can take this time to learn all the things that you need to know about vulnerability/boundaries, what you need to know about men, the things you need to know about love and relationships to create something much more magical than you even imagined possible.
But first, you’ll need to acknowledge that this breakup or this divorce is an opportunity for you.
I’m gonna give you a little assignment that you can use to help you move on. This is the perfect assignment during a breakup or divorce or even long after to help you acknowledge what opportunities might overlooking.
I want you to get grateful, do a grateful list of 10 things of why this is happening in your life.
What does this give you the opportunity for?
In your life, in your family, in your romantic relationship?
Let me give you an example.
With my ex husband, our breakup and eventual divorce gave me the opportunity to learn about myself as a woman and learn about myself romantically. As a result, I stopped dating haphazardly.
It also gave me the opportunity to meet my current husband which has been a far more wonderful relationship.
It also gave me the opportunity to work with you right now and work with the women that I worked with all around the world, helping them in their love life. The opportunities have truly been unlimited.
I could have spent years focusing on what it did to me and the hurt I felt but instead I chose to be grateful for the opportunities.
I just got back from a cruise with a man that not only do I adore but loves, adores and cherishes me too. (That was a really fantastic cruise too).
So many wonderful things have happened in this last year for us and it all stems from that opportunity. You can have it as well.
On a sheet of paper or in the comments below you can write down 10 things that you’re grateful for and what this breakup or divorce has given you in terms of opportunities.
Also, if you are considering getting him back, or you’re in the process of a breakup, maybe are still deciding if you are really ready to move on, you should check out the How To Get Him Back Cheat Sheet.com. It has a little section that’ll help you determine whether or not this guy is even worth your romantic time. This is very important because we don’t have to waste a bunch of time on guys that aren’t worth our romantic investment.
Again Lovergirl, for joining me today in this episode of #FairyDustTv. You deserve the romantic life you want. I don’t want you sitting on the romantic sidelines any longer.
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