#FairyDustTV Episode 20, Online Dating Etiquette, The Things You Are Overlooking That Are Ruining Your Online Dating Experience

Lots of women find online dating to be a frustrating experience. But does it have to be? With a little ‘Online Dating Etiquette’ you can instantly and dramatically improve your online dating results.

 

#FairyDustTV Video Transcript:

Backstory on Me: I grew up with two very blue collar-middle class parents who were pretty unrefined. I mean their whole theory on life was work hard and you will reap the rewards.

Which means I grew up not having any etiquette education besides basic manners like saying please and thank you, yes sir, no sir, etc.

And unfortunately, it did affect me. At different times in my life I was overlooked for certain opportunities because of this unrefinement/lack of etiquette.

Lots of people (like my parents did) look at etiquette as inauthentic and/or of pertaining to a certain class status therefore as unnecessary in their world. I want you to know however, that etiquette is not a bad thing if you know how to use it appropriately, especially when online dating.

Online dating etiquette is never about being somebody that you’re not.

But the nature of communication in online dating lends itself to misunderstanding and misinterpretation.

Still…

I love online dating for my clients. I absolutely, 100% love online dating. In fact, I was having a blast while online dating during the time I met the love of my life nine years ago.

BONUS: Click HERE to get FREE ACCESS to the first two chapters of my step-by-step video course E-rresistibility to create an online dating profile that leads to offline romance.

So although I am asking you to mind your P’s & Q’s online, note that it doesn’t mean that I am asking you to be somebody that you’re not. The only thing I’m trying to do is to eliminate any misunderstanding or miscommunication so that you can have the best experience possible when dating online.

No. 1 Bland or Boring Profile = Poor Form

Now, I personally consider this first one very very important and I know you ladies are going to say to me that you know, “You know Jenn, guys don’t always have the best profiles on online dating either.”

I’m gonna tell you, yes you’re right, but I’m not talking to men today. I’m talking to you about creating your best experience possible.

TYPICAL SCENARIO: A woman decides to try online dating. She might be a little nervous, she might be a little excited, but she decided she’s gonna put something up as fast as she can and see what happens.This is what I would call a ‘Whatever Profile.’

This is the biggest recipe for disaster in online dating.

First, you’re gonna get all types of the wrong men contacting you. Men that have no interest on who you are and the potential that you two have romantically. You also will be contacted by what I call the “crazy guys” more often. These are men that see your bland or boring profile and think: “Oh, I might actually have a chance with her. She doesn’t have a lot going on. She might pay attention to me”

Furthermore bland/boring profiles produce a high incidence if ‘inbox crickets’ which means you’ll hear from no one of substance. And of course then you’ll end up bitching/complaining about how horrible online dating is.

Yet, one in five or one in four relationship these days start from an online introduction.

Which is why online dating actually is pretty fantastic if you decide to do it a little differently.

I want you, my lovely lady, to make sure that you never again put up a bland or boring profile for your online dating account. I don’t care what the guys are doing. This is your experience and I’m really concerned about you having a great time with online dating.

To help you with that, I’ve created a program called E-rresistibility. At E-rrestibility.com you can get the first two chapters for free to start writing your online dating profile. If you want even more help, go ahead and register for the course. It will walk you step by step through creating the perfect for you online dating profile so you have a much different online dating experience.

No. 2 Leaving your online dating profile up too long

This is something that really bugs me. There are a lot of people who keep their online dating profile up for waaaaay too long.

I know the different dating services offer you an extension (Like if you do this for six months, we’ll give you six months free), I would almost say that it’s a good idea to bypass the free. Take your profile down, redo that puppy (redo the profile with E-rresistibility.com), and create a new account by using a new email address.

It doesn’t have to be a different dating service but you need to create a different account.

Having your profile up for way too long is not serving you in any way so go ahead and change it and restart your online dating experience. (Newer members get better algorithm ranking;-)

BONUS: Click HERE to get my Romantic Fairy Godmomma Insider Secrets to getting the best price on eHarmony

 

No. 3 Taking way too long to respond

I work with successful women. I work with professional women. I work with women who have busy, insane schedules. So I get it, you don’t want to spend a crazy amount of time responding to online dating messages.

It’s way too much mental investment when you have other important things in your life that you need to tend to.
BUT…There are a lot of GREAT men who are being pushed away from you because you’re taking way too long to respond.

First, let me say that I don’t expect you to respond right away..

Waiting a day to respond is perfectly fine. What I’m talking about is when you are having regular communication and then you fall off the face of the earth for a week with no heads up for him.

The secret formula is really really easy…

If you are going to be offline, if you have business trip going on –some kind of special event, just shoot him a note and say: “Hey, I want you to know I’m really enjoying this conversation. But my schedule this week will be challenging requiring my undivided attention. Could you message me next Thursday so we can resume? ;-)”

You will be amazed at how great men are about it and thankful that you let him know.

Super simple! You’re not leaving him hanging.

It’s too simple. It’s a two-line message:

“Hey, I really like where our conversation is going. I need to go out of town for a week. Can we talk when I get back?”

Really, really simple!

No. 4 Outdated Images

This is another one that gets me. I think it’s poor etiquette using outdated images.

But I know why women do it.

You want to post your profile as fast as possible.
Maybe you gained a little weight or
People tell you all the time that you look exactly the same as your photo from 3 years ago.

Don’t do it!

You must have current photos. At least one kind of good head shot and one good current body shot. They should be clear AND NOT pixelated.

Lots of men are asking women to send them more pictures because women post old and pixelated photos –and of course women are frustrated with men for asking.

I honestly can’t blame the men for asking.(BTW, if he has old and pixelated photos, you should ask him to send you current clear photos.)

When you’re looking at outdated pixelated photos, it’s hard to gauge who you’re actually talking to. Online dating pics are really really important. Which is why I have my private clients go get a photoshoot for their online dating profile.

They look amazing.

Please these photos are an accurate depiction of what she currently looks like and she doesn’t have to hide behind three year old pixelated photos.

No. 5 Do not follow or friend each other on social media right away

Most people don’t know this is poor online dating etiquette.

Do not follow each other on social media anytime soon. (It causes a crazy amount of problems) Social media is for a more established relationship when you’re actually seeing each other exclusively.

Don’t give him your Instagram account, your Facebook, no social media at the beginning. And for that matter, don’t use your photos that are on your Facebook for your online dating profile. (Online safety first).

No friending, no following on social media until you have a more established relationship and that doesn’t usually happen within at least the first month.

You can read more about it here.

Social media at the beginning does more harm than good plus it leads to a lot of misunderstandings. It’s really easy to push a guy away through your social media account.

No. 6 Going on too many dates

I’ve met a lot of women do this because it’s the nature of the dating landscape right now with Tinder, It’s Just Lunch, etc. and it drives me f@cking crazy.

BUT I get it.

Both men and women are trying to assess chemistry as fast as possible in our instant gratification society.

And it’s not working very well at all.

Women need to slow down the pace of dating again. Insist on getting to know each other a little bit online first and stop going on so many dates.

Too many coffee dates, too many meetups for drinks.

Establishing something of quality first then go ahead and date. If he can’t take sometime to get to know you online, then he is not worth your time offline. You will start having better dates and better relationship potential with my method.

If you’re looking for a hookup, going on as many dates as possible — is the way to go one hundred percent.

Online dating is not just about picking a profile and checking if you have chemistry.

It’s a process. It’s a process that if done appropriately, can yield magical results for you. I’m not kidding. The statistics, they’re not lying to you. One in five people in a relationship met through either online dating or some type of online introduction.

So this is the dating platform that we should not ignore but we do need to know how to conduct ourselves online that will bring us the best results in love. Otherwise Lovergirl, you will waste your valuable time pushing fantastic men away in the process.

Fairy Dust Over And Out,

Jenn

P.S.

BONUS: Click HERE to get FREE ACCESS to the first two chapters of my step-by-step video course E-rresistibility to create an online dating profile that leads to offline romance.