Ooh Lovergirl, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas at my place.
Our tree is finally up after wrestling with it for two days to get it straight. And then coming up with creative ways to get my kiddo to more evenly disperse the Christmas ornaments… (okay, I admit it my creative magic failed me miserably this time – I went behind her and tweaked 😉
Not to mention my husband forgot to open the flue sufficiently last night, so our living room smelled pretty charred this morning.
I am going to let you in on a little-known secret…
In my work I am a Romantic Fairy Godmother for strong successful single women. I help women create their personalized version of the romantic fairy tales. But at our home, we thrive on comedic aspects of life. We aren’t super elegant, we do have potty mouths, and yes, I am wearing a pink snuggie while I write this to you.
Most of all, we enjoy being not-so-picture-perfect together.
So for this ‘Fairy Dust Friday’, I decided to help you with an age old question:
‘Should I get him something for Christmas?’
And big hint – it’s not about being picture-perfect in the least.
Just for clarification purposes, the following suggestions are for men you are dating but not in an exclusive relationship with yet. (Although you can still use these principles in other situations as well.)
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So I said that I was going to answer the question: ‘Should I get him something for Christmas’; but actually, I’m going to answer two questions for you so that you get more bang for your fairy dust today.
1. Should I get him something for Christmas?
This is actually a very simple question to answer. All you have to do is ask yourself two questions first:
A. Do I really want to give him a gift?
Does it make me smile or feel good thinking about it? Pretty straightforward… If you answer yes to this, then proceed to the next question. If you don’t, then stop here. No worries; the majority of men are not bothered about whether you give them a gift or not in the early stages. But if at some point if you change your mind, as we women do, then… By all means go to question B.
B. If I give him a gift and he doesn’t get me one, will I be cool with that, or will I hold it against him?
This one is important… Uber important.
We women are notorious for doing things in order to elicit a certain response from men. “If I do this for him, then he will take a hint and do this as well.” But in reality, this does very little to help men understand what you want from him.
So it is much more important for you to ask yourself question B first. And if you can honestly say “YES, I can give him a gift and not secretly or not-so secretly hold it against him if he doesn’t reciprocate,” then absolutely, you 100% have my blessing to get him a gift for Christmas. And you are officially ready for the second part of today’s Fairy Dust Wisdom
2. What should I get him?
Yeah Lovergirl!!! You’ve made it through all parts of question number one; and now as a bonus, I am going to help you pick out your not so picture-perfect gift for him.
You see, most men are not looking for the perfect woman, and most men are not expecting the perfect gift from you. In fact, it makes a lot of men super uncomfy when you overdo it present-wise when you are not exclusive yet.
So do both of you a favor and don’t overthink this one. If you’ve only been dating a couple of weeks, keep it small and not super sentimental, yet thoughtful. If you’ve been dating longer, keep the gift in proportion to where you still feel comfortable and not pissed off if he doesn’t reciprocate.
Also I personally like the idea of giving something representative of the fun that you’re having together, or that shows you pay attention to what interests him.
By the way, if you’re contemplating giving him an “I love you” gift before the two of you have exchange those words, I recommend you hold off ‘till next Friday’s installment of Fairy Dust Friday, where I will answer the question ‘Should you tell him I love you first?’.
Here are some fun gifts for him if you are falling short on ideas this holiday season:
Or Maybe Movie Tickets to the next Action Adventure Flick.
If you feel like splurging; Concert Tickets for a favorite band of his or a comedy show.
(Bonus: you get to spend an evening together:)
Or one of my personal favorites (and one of my husband’s favorites):
BTW, these principles and gifts work very well if you are buying for multiple men in your Mantourage as well.
Also… stay away from these gift giving mistakes I have made…(still shaking my head years later)
Don’t try to show how cool you are with him looking at other women by gifting him with a ‘Sports Illustrated’ calendar.
Don’t show how gifting-clueless you are by giving him a Best Buy or any gift certificate.
(Yes, I actually did these; I want to crawl under my snuggie now.)
Finally, if you can’t come up with something…. AGAIN, NO WORRIES. Especially early in dating, most men are not concerned with whether or not you get them a gift. It’s actually better to err on the side of no gift than a thoughtless or crappy gift.
Sprinkling Fairy Dust for Your Magical Holiday Season,
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